Isims

I studied language development in college as part of my training to become a teacher. It is really quite fascinating. There are all kinds of stages, and developmental windows. I got to learn all about schema and how children assimilate new words into their vocabulary.



What I did not learn was how funny this process can be. The trial and error of learning new words is definitely entertaining. Some pronunciations take weeks or even months to nail down.

Here is a list of the funnier "isims" that the kids have come up with over the years:

faf⋅fle (fof-uhl) n. batter cake with a pattern of deep indentations on each side, traditionally comes frozen in boxes of 24. [I want a faffle for breakfast]

mes⋅i⋅nine (mes-uh-nin) n. any substance or substances used in treating disease or illness; remedy, usually forced down the throat via a plastic syringe and 3 adults holding the child down. [I don’t want to take my mesinine]

re⋅mem⋅ber⋅rize (re-mem-buh-rahyz) v. to commit to memory; learn by heart, to repeat something out loud over and over until a parent says “Stop!” [You should rememberize your phone number]

yo⋅grit (yo-grit) n. a prepared food having the consistency of custard, made from milk curdled by the action of cultures, usually served in a tube with colorful cartoon characters and ridiculous flavors. [We need yogrit at the store]

pup (puhp) n. a small, open container made of plastic, glass, etc., usually having a handle and possible sippy spout, used as a receptacle from which to spill milk, juice, wa-wa, etc. [That’s my pup]

pants⋅na⋅ked (pants-ney-kid) adj. being without clothing or covering below the waist, resulting condition of an aborted diaper change. [Now Selah is pantsnaked]

vi⋅ma⋅nin (vi-muh-nin) n. Any of various organic compounds that are needed in small amounts for normal growth and activity of the body; usually dispensed in a bottle with colorful cartoon characters and ridiculous flavors. [Your vimanin is by your faffle]

in⋅ap⋅pro⋅cri⋅ate (in-uh-proh-cree-it) adj. not appropriate; not proper or suitable. [That TV show is inapprocriate]

hook (hŏŏk) n. a soft or flexible covering for the head and neck attached to a cloak, coat, or the like. Note: this will be universally pulled off until the child is approximately 2 years and 2 months of age. [It’s cold out, put on your hook]

re⋅ver⋅sa⋅ry (ri-vur-suh-ree) n. the yearly recurrence of the date of a past event esp. a wedding. [No, we are not having McDonald’s for mommy and daddy’s reversary]

res⋅trau⋅naut (res-truh-nawt) n. establishment where meals are served to customers; exclusively refers to McDonalds or Taco Bueno. [Let’s go to a restraunaut for supper]

glub (gluhb) pl. glubs n. a covering for the hand made with a separate sheath for each finger and for the thumb; Note: attempting to put on children will cause a paradox in the space-time continuum due to its antithetical nature and high improbability of success. [Hold still so I can put on your gulbs]

mee⋅no (mee-noh) n. 1. mildly acidic red or yellow pulpy fruit grown on a vine and eaten as a vegetable. 2. an opening in the wall of a building, the side of a vehicle, etc., for the admission of air or light, or both. [Don’t throw your meeno out the meeno]

gook (gŏŏk) v. to turn one's eyes toward something or in some direction in order to see, usually repeated out loud over and over again until a parent says “What!” [gook!, gook!, gook!, gook!, GOOK!]

prac⋅ti⋅cal a⋅dult (prak-ti-kuhl uh-duhlt) n. being such in practice or effect of a person who has attained the age of maturity in function not age; one who desires the freedoms of an adult without the responsibilities. [Zeke refers to himself as a practical adult]