Dental Drills and the Illusion of Control

We took the kids to the dentist yesterday.  I don't like trips to the dentist.  I didn't like them as a kid, I don't like them as an adult, and I really don't like them as a parent.  There is just something about metal tools and someone's fingers crawling around in my mouth that freaks me out. 

The dentist office is the kind that has "Kid" in the title.  It is supposed to be kid -friendly, but the beige walls, dim lights, and contemporary furniture might lead you to believe otherwise.  It had a very hushed atmostphere. All the toys were neatly arranged in baskets around bookshelves topped with Feng Shui zen style decor.  It kind of reminded me of the typical old -school elementary library where you are not allowed to talk above a low whisper.

Taking the kids to the dentist is a lot like open heart surgery for your parenting. They open up your kid's mouth and tell you everything that's wrong with it. Which translates into what's wrong with you as a parent.  Cavities, infection, abscess, plaque, and your kids need to brush better.  Translation: your parenting sucks. Good parents don't have kids with cavities, right? 

Well, I guess I'm not a good parent then.  The dental report was not exactly encouraging.  It's hard to not feel guilty and responsible.  I want my kids to be healthy and strong.  But parenting is hard, and sometimes things slip through the cracks. This of course starts me on a train of thought that touches on every little deficit in how my wife and I are raising our kids.  The whole line of thinking ends up in an ugly and depressing place.  Frustrated, I ended up asking myself one question:

When did I lose control?

*     *     *

I was still a little flustered as I tucked the kids into bed.  You'd better believe those teeth got brushed, though.  And then some.  

Eli brought me our devotional book and wondered if we had enough time for a bible story.  It was already past bed time, but the emotional guilt was pretty much going to guarantee that we would read our devotional tonight.  Not the best motivation, I know.

I let the pages flip past my thumb until I arrived at the right one.  I began reading aloud that day's verse.  But, I had to stop halfway through.  The verse from Ephesians 2: 10 really got me-

For we are God's masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Wow.  I am not in the regular habit of thinking of myself as God's masterpiece.  I definitely don't usually think about God planning long ago the good things I would do.  So then it really hits me.  The answer to my question:

I never really had control to begin with.  


And thank God for that.


Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ghirson/12557871/

Wonderful Distractions

I think about distraction.  I think about it a lot.  And I'm well aware of the irony in that.

I hate being as distractible as I am. Sometimes I can't remember what happened.  I mean what just happened.  Two hours of my life will go by, and I'm not sure where I was. Sometimes I can't remember what happened two minutes ago.

It's "rest time" as I sit here typing this.  I have several browser tabs open, my BlackBerry next to me, and I'm copying some photos to my computer.  I'm reading my Facebook feed, looking at text messages, editing a photo, and trying to write this post.   It's pretty silly, really.  I desperately want to get as much done as I can.  And I'm already distracted enough.  But, the most distracting things in my life right now can't be charged by a wall outlet.  At least I don't think they can.  They are not even things.  These wonderful distractions are my four amazing children.

Case in point- It takes 30 minutes to watch a 10 minute YouTube video during "rest time."  I click play and Eli walks in and wants a piece of paper.  Pause, paper, boom.  Thirty seconds later, Selah walks in and wants a sheet of paper too.  Pause, paper, slighly less boom.  Two minutes later, Selah is back in becuase Eli took her paper.  Pause, yell, what was I doing?  

45 seconds pass.  Zeke appears and wants to know if he can have a snack.  Pause, spout off random diatribe about heathly eating, and we're back.  And Selah's back too- to report that Eli took her other sheet of paper.  Pause, more yelling, back to video. 

A minute and a half pass of uninterrupted video.  I use the time to scroll back and re-watch the first 2 minutes of the video again becuase I forgot what I was watching.  I thought I was watching a music video, but there seems to be some white -haired scientist stuffing an iPad into a blender.  

Eli darts in and patiently waits for me to pause.  "Dad, guess what?"

"You gave Selah her paper back and now you are voluntarily washing the dishes?" 

"No, I need to go to the bathroom!"

"Wow, I forgot we even had one of those.  Thanks for updating me on the status of your bladder."

At this point, I just give up and go and respond to the screaming in the living room.  I have trained myself to work in 2 minute bursts.  That is about the maximum amout of time I'll get before I have to shift gears.  Watching a video has proven to be too much.

*     *     *

But they are my amazing children.  I want to give them the attention they deserve.  I need to.  

Zeke is forever wanting to show me something.  He's always making a new creation, doing an experiment, or wanting to look up something on Wikipedia.  He'll even knock on the door to talk when I'm in my other office (read: bathroom) filing paperwork.  Eli spends 96% of the day crying or complaining to me.  Selah is a little needy right now.  She just can't reach everything she wants.  And Titus. . . Well I have big plans for Titus.  We are not going to mess him up.  There is always something going on in my house.  It's usually pretty amazing too if I can focus on it for long enough.

What else would I being doing while I'm pushing a kid on a swing and holding a baby as I play three -way catch and lecture everyone on the benefits of staying away from fresh dog poo?

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/hawee/3599320521/

This article on the NY Times almost sent me over the top: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/07/technology/07brain.html?_r=1&partner=rs...

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