Musings- holidays

We just went through the lobby of a hobby type store that will remain nameless. I saw Halloween pumpkins and Christmas trees side by side on the shelf. I'm not sure why it bothers me, it just does. I also overheard one guy comment to another guy that "This tree looks cute." But I know why that bothers me.

It's October 11th and this display has probably been up for a while. I guess it just adds to the rush- rush, never-get-caught-up feel of life. Let the holidays breathe a bit. I don't want to be thinking about Valentine cards while I'm finishing my Thanksgiving turkey.

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Song of the Week: "Let It Fall" by Nevertheless

This song is from the album "Live Like We're Alive." It was one of my favorites of 2006. It is one of those albums I can listen to over and over because, not only is the music great, but I emotionally connect to so much of it.

I have been listening to "Let It Fall" almost every day this week. There is something about it that gives me hope. Check out the words:

We wear it on our face. 
We keep up with the pace and don’t slow down. 
But perfection without grace is such a lonely place to be found. 
We go ‘round and ‘round and never really move at all. 

Oh, we are bruised and destined to lose doing this alone. 
Oh, let it fall and cover us all – this grace that’s not our own. 

See it in our eyes. We’re running for the prize. Don’t burn out. 
But without a hand to hold, we’ll never really know what life’s about.
We go ‘round and ‘round and never really move at all. 

Let’s live like we’re alive. We’ll take the pain in stride. 
We’ll learn from our mistakes and be glad we ever tried. 
Let’s live like we’re alive.
Live like we’re alive and run with him into the night! 

I really like these guys. They just released a new CD about a month ago. I don't have it yet. The songs they have put online are a little bit softer than their previous stuff. I think I hear a little more piano too.

You can listen to a clip of this song on Last.fm You have to scroll down a bit, it was number 19 last time I checked. Check out their full page here or on MySpace.

Sometimes a surprise is better

People leave. It is a natural part of life. The longer you live, the more people you are bound to see come and go. As a teacher I have 20+ young people that come and go each school year. Some I get to know extremely well, and some not as much. Some kids are almost forgotten after a while, and a few kids I could not forget if I tried. But I always know I'll say goodbye when summer comes around. The end of school is as inevitable as the beginning. I plan for it. I work for it. In many cases I hope for it. It always arrives right on time. Saying goodbye is not a surprise. But, sometimes a surprise is better.

Every year there are always the "move aways." They start the year at one school and then move away to another. Parents will usually tell me a month in advance that they are moving, but sometimes it's a surprise. The parent will show up in the room, kids in tow, and tell me they are moving. They get their things packed up and withdraw from school. Occasionally I'll get a heads up a few days prior. Sometimes it's a nice surprise.

The hardest combination is when a student I love and adore dearly tells me that they are moving in two weeks. Two weeks? That is far enough out there to not be "soon," but not enough time to fully mentally prepare for it. It is just enough time to get really sad and down. This heartbreaking combination just happened to me.

Two weeks ago one of my sweetest and most precious students told me she was moving. She was actually in my class last year, but they are always "my" students. That first week I didn't really process it. It was just one more thing I did not want to think about. But this week, I could not stop coming back to it. I kept think about how much I missed having her in class this year. I was so glad I still got to see her every day in the halls. I just took it for granted. She is a very bright and capable girl and I know she will do well in any school. I'm not worried about her, I guess I was just thinking selfishly.

It was very hard to say goodbye yesterday. I didn't cry though. I was tough. I knew if I cried she would start crying too. She gave me a big hug and I gave her a little kiss on the forehead. We said our goodbyes and that was that. It's hard to say goodbye to someone you know you will probably never see again- especially when you have been mulling over it for two weeks. I think a surprise would have been better.