Dental Drills and the Illusion of Control

We took the kids to the dentist yesterday.  I don't like trips to the dentist.  I didn't like them as a kid, I don't like them as an adult, and I really don't like them as a parent.  There is just something about metal tools and someone's fingers crawling around in my mouth that freaks me out. 

The dentist office is the kind that has "Kid" in the title.  It is supposed to be kid -friendly, but the beige walls, dim lights, and contemporary furniture might lead you to believe otherwise.  It had a very hushed atmostphere. All the toys were neatly arranged in baskets around bookshelves topped with Feng Shui zen style decor.  It kind of reminded me of the typical old -school elementary library where you are not allowed to talk above a low whisper.

Taking the kids to the dentist is a lot like open heart surgery for your parenting. They open up your kid's mouth and tell you everything that's wrong with it. Which translates into what's wrong with you as a parent.  Cavities, infection, abscess, plaque, and your kids need to brush better.  Translation: your parenting sucks. Good parents don't have kids with cavities, right? 

Well, I guess I'm not a good parent then.  The dental report was not exactly encouraging.  It's hard to not feel guilty and responsible.  I want my kids to be healthy and strong.  But parenting is hard, and sometimes things slip through the cracks. This of course starts me on a train of thought that touches on every little deficit in how my wife and I are raising our kids.  The whole line of thinking ends up in an ugly and depressing place.  Frustrated, I ended up asking myself one question:

When did I lose control?

*     *     *

I was still a little flustered as I tucked the kids into bed.  You'd better believe those teeth got brushed, though.  And then some.  

Eli brought me our devotional book and wondered if we had enough time for a bible story.  It was already past bed time, but the emotional guilt was pretty much going to guarantee that we would read our devotional tonight.  Not the best motivation, I know.

I let the pages flip past my thumb until I arrived at the right one.  I began reading aloud that day's verse.  But, I had to stop halfway through.  The verse from Ephesians 2: 10 really got me-

For we are God's masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Wow.  I am not in the regular habit of thinking of myself as God's masterpiece.  I definitely don't usually think about God planning long ago the good things I would do.  So then it really hits me.  The answer to my question:

I never really had control to begin with.  


And thank God for that.


Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ghirson/12557871/