Isims

I studied language development in college as part of my training to become a teacher. It is really quite fascinating. There are all kinds of stages, and developmental windows. I got to learn all about schema and how children assimilate new words into their vocabulary.



What I did not learn was how funny this process can be. The trial and error of learning new words is definitely entertaining. Some pronunciations take weeks or even months to nail down.

Here is a list of the funnier "isims" that the kids have come up with over the years:

faf⋅fle (fof-uhl) n. batter cake with a pattern of deep indentations on each side, traditionally comes frozen in boxes of 24. [I want a faffle for breakfast]

mes⋅i⋅nine (mes-uh-nin) n. any substance or substances used in treating disease or illness; remedy, usually forced down the throat via a plastic syringe and 3 adults holding the child down. [I don’t want to take my mesinine]

re⋅mem⋅ber⋅rize (re-mem-buh-rahyz) v. to commit to memory; learn by heart, to repeat something out loud over and over until a parent says “Stop!” [You should rememberize your phone number]

yo⋅grit (yo-grit) n. a prepared food having the consistency of custard, made from milk curdled by the action of cultures, usually served in a tube with colorful cartoon characters and ridiculous flavors. [We need yogrit at the store]

pup (puhp) n. a small, open container made of plastic, glass, etc., usually having a handle and possible sippy spout, used as a receptacle from which to spill milk, juice, wa-wa, etc. [That’s my pup]

pants⋅na⋅ked (pants-ney-kid) adj. being without clothing or covering below the waist, resulting condition of an aborted diaper change. [Now Selah is pantsnaked]

vi⋅ma⋅nin (vi-muh-nin) n. Any of various organic compounds that are needed in small amounts for normal growth and activity of the body; usually dispensed in a bottle with colorful cartoon characters and ridiculous flavors. [Your vimanin is by your faffle]

in⋅ap⋅pro⋅cri⋅ate (in-uh-proh-cree-it) adj. not appropriate; not proper or suitable. [That TV show is inapprocriate]

hook (hŏŏk) n. a soft or flexible covering for the head and neck attached to a cloak, coat, or the like. Note: this will be universally pulled off until the child is approximately 2 years and 2 months of age. [It’s cold out, put on your hook]

re⋅ver⋅sa⋅ry (ri-vur-suh-ree) n. the yearly recurrence of the date of a past event esp. a wedding. [No, we are not having McDonald’s for mommy and daddy’s reversary]

res⋅trau⋅naut (res-truh-nawt) n. establishment where meals are served to customers; exclusively refers to McDonalds or Taco Bueno. [Let’s go to a restraunaut for supper]

glub (gluhb) pl. glubs n. a covering for the hand made with a separate sheath for each finger and for the thumb; Note: attempting to put on children will cause a paradox in the space-time continuum due to its antithetical nature and high improbability of success. [Hold still so I can put on your gulbs]

mee⋅no (mee-noh) n. 1. mildly acidic red or yellow pulpy fruit grown on a vine and eaten as a vegetable. 2. an opening in the wall of a building, the side of a vehicle, etc., for the admission of air or light, or both. [Don’t throw your meeno out the meeno]

gook (gŏŏk) v. to turn one's eyes toward something or in some direction in order to see, usually repeated out loud over and over again until a parent says “What!” [gook!, gook!, gook!, gook!, GOOK!]

prac⋅ti⋅cal a⋅dult (prak-ti-kuhl uh-duhlt) n. being such in practice or effect of a person who has attained the age of maturity in function not age; one who desires the freedoms of an adult without the responsibilities. [Zeke refers to himself as a practical adult]

Right In The Ukelele

As a dad, it is so much fun having boys. It's great to run around and wrestle with them. They love to see how hard they can punch me. And they always want to show me how fast they are. I love it.

One of the best things, however, are the laughs we get to have. There is a level of immaturity in guys that is always present at some level. Being the father of two boys (and soon to be three) I feel it is my privilege, nay, obligation, to provide them with plenty of fodder for fart gags and crotch jokes. It just comes with the territory. One of our favorite pastimes is coming up with clever euphemisms for these hilarious things.

I accidentally-on purpose taught the boys a new one the other day. It has become a pretty popular saying around our house lately. I did not realize quite how ingrained in our vocabulary it had become until I showed the boys this recent picture. Of course the first words out of their mouths were-

"Ow, right in the ukelele!"

You are looking at one proud dad.

Really?- Ice Caps

I saw this picture on the back of a car the other day.  Wow.  I mean far be it from me to poo-poo someone's passions and causes.  I know I should probably be more of an activist and advocate in many areas.  I know it takes guts to speak out about what you believe in.  But ice caps? Really?

With all the human trafficing, drug smuggling, prostitution, starvation, child pornography, and utter evil in the world, I just don't get being worried about the ice caps.  Besides, I'm pretty sure that Jesus will likely come back before those babies melt anyway.  Probably...

Santa Claus is Dead

There, I said it. I feel like I can say that without too much reprisal since Christmas is over. I don't mean it to sound harsh, but it's true. He has been dead for over 1500 years. There is a very nice and short article over at Pastor Mark Driscoll's blog that is a great read.

Nell and I decided back when Zeke was a baby that we were just going to be up front about Santa. We have always told our kids about St. Nicholas and why he became famous. We just don't tell them that he lives at the North Pole, flies a magical sleigh, and slides down our chimney to enjoy milk & cookies. I know some people think we are monsters for corrupting the youth of our children. I'm okay with that. But I just don't get it. Most parents would not tell their kids Scooby Doo, or the Ninja Turtles or Batman is real. Well, Batman is real...

Now that being said, we do enjoy Santa. We have Santa decorations up, sing Santa songs, and watch Santa movies. In fact, Nell and I both grew up with Santa when we were little and somehow we miraculously turned out okay. I never look down my nose at any family who "does" Santa. It's all fine and dandy, it's just not for us.

I love the last sentence in Driscoll's blog post-

"...we keep the center of Christmas focused on Jesus; it’s probably what Nicholas would have wanted"

Now, if you'll excuse me, Batman is going to be signing autographs down at the mall in a few hours.

Song of the Week: "I Celebrate the Day" by Relient K

I have loved Relient K ever since I heard "Softer To Me" on an old HM compilation back in 2000. This song is a few years old, but it still brings a tear to my eye during the holidays. The vocals are amazing, the piano melody is absolutely beautiful, and the lyrics speak for themselves:

And with this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let You know how much You've touched my life
Because here is where You're finding me, in the exact same place as New Year's eve
And from a lack of my persistency
We're less than half as close as I want to be

And the first time
That You opened Your eyes did You realize that You would be my Savior
And the first breath that left Your lips
Did You know that it would change this world forever

And so this Christmas I'll compare the things I felt in prior years
To what this midnight made so clear
That You have come to meet me here

To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me
In the hope that what You did
That you were born so I might live
To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me

And I, I celebrate the day
That You were born to die
So I could one day pray for You to save my life

You can listen to this song on Last.fm Just click play on the player in the upper right. Check out their homepage here.

I truly hope that, today, you are celebrating the fact that Jesus came to die for you and me. And if not, what are you waiting for?