Some days

Some days I just don’t know if I want to teach anymore. Some days I have dreams of a cozy cubicle. Some days I really do think I could sell cars. Maybe.

Some days I don’t know if I can take one more kid asking me “What did you say Mr. Stortz?” right after I just said it 13 times and had your buddy right next to you repeat it back to me.

I’m not sure if I can take one more kid asking me if his tooth looks “loose”.

Some days I don’t know if I can tie one more shoe, put on one more band- aid, or listen to one more story about what your mom made for supper last night.

Some days I don’t know if I can tell one more kid to stop doing that and go get a Kleenex.

Some days I just don’t know if I can listen to one more tattle about how James was looking at me during recess and now he’s not going to be my friend.

Some days I know I say “Go sit down” more than I say “Good job!”

Some days I say “Go fix this” more than I say “Well done.”

Some days I want to trip the next kid running down the hall.

And some days I want parental consent to biff kids in the back of the head as an acceptable form of discipline.

But some days, more than anything, I just don’t know if I want to reach the end of my life and realize that I never really did anything of significance. I don’t know if I want to be at the end of it all and have had no one tell me thanks for making a difference in their life.

But the truth is many of us will never see the end results of our efforts. We tire for something distant and unformed. Something that has not yet been. Someone else will reap the fruits from the tears, struggles, and labor that we have sown.

The Bible reminds us to “not grow weary in doing what is right.” We get a chance to pour ourselves into something much bigger than any of us. It’s living and organic. It is intangible and wonderful. It is for the greater good. It’s something that all the cubicle workers and car dealers probably don’t understand. But that’s why I teach.

And some days, I just don’t know if I remind myself of that enough.

God bless you all.